The reality of college life

If you are reading this, it is very likely that this topic sparked your curiosity. We would also have chosen to read this article if we were still in college. We were just as lost and confused as everyone else when we first joined our respective colleges. The secret that we learned through our own experience of college life is: Nobody knows what they are doing.

Sure, some students seem to have it all together as they juggle various societies, internships, and accomplishments with an air of confidence. But behind that polished exterior lies uncertainty, just like yours. Everyone’s mind is full of questions, and their hearts wrestle with self-doubt. And that is okay.

As we reflected on our journeys, we realised that we wanted to share our thoughts, experiences, and lessons on navigating the highs and lows of college life. From friendships to expectations and the weight of responsibilities, here is what we wish someone had told us when we first arrived.

Do we need friends?

One of us experienced a deep existential crisis in the Kashmere Gate Metro Station crowd. If you have been there, you know the scene, an overwhelming sea of people rushing toward their destinations, each with a clear purpose. At that moment, a realisation hit hard: Delhi was a relentless beast compared to the peaceful rhythm of life in Ladakh. The fast-paced, noisy environment makes one feel homesick and reminds us of how much slower and simpler, life is at home.

So, you turn to your only support system in Delhi, your friends. And while most of you consider your friends to be people with whom you hang out, their influence goes much deeper. Some friendships can change your life by providing the support, motivation, and encouragement you need to thrive. However, some people may lead you in a direction you would rather avoid. Making a smart choice is crucial, even if you are tempted to believe that any friend is better than being alone. The wrong company can significantly derail your life.

Choose wisely. It is better to be alone than in bad company. Trust yourself to be self-reliant, and you will eventually find your tribe. Until then, remember: your own company is far better than the wrong company.

The weight of being the first

For many Ladakhi students, attending college isn’t just a personal achievement, it’s a family aspiration, and a social expectation. The pressure can feel overwhelming, especially if you are the first in your family to pursue higher education. You may question if you are good enough, worry about job prospects, or fear wasting your family’s hard-earned money.

Such thoughts can be difficult to navigate, especially when people around you secure jobs, internships, and good grades. It is easy to feel like you are not good enough when you compare yourself with your friends. But here is the truth: Every journey is unique. There is no fixed timeline for success, and your worth is not determined by how quickly you ‘catch up’ with others.

People in Ladakh often consider a government job the hallmark of success. However, that is not true. You can be happy even with a private job if you enjoy the work and find a purpose in the work that you do. Ultimately, you must carve out a path that reflects your aspirations, even if it diverges from family or social expectations. After all, you are the one who will live with the consequences of your choices. So, find out what sparks your interest and talk to people working in your dream job. Just dreaming about a dream job won’t make it come true. You must put in the effort to realise that dream.

Money, no money!

Taking care of money for the first time is a great responsibility, and many of us fail in the first few attempts. Many Ladakhi students have scholarships on top of the monthly allowances from their families. But they still end up broke. Most do not even keep track of where they spend their money. Such reckless spending shows poor financial management and disrespect towards your parents’ efforts.

Moreover, being a college student is already equivalent to being a ‘half-adult’. You can set out to find ways to make money yourself. Ladakhi students are creative and skilled in various art-forms, dance, photography, and videography, talents that are in great demand. Create a portfolio, start freelancing, and earn your keep. Many hesitate, thinking they can’t succeed. But you will never know unless you try. Interning or freelancing easily beats doom-scrolling on social media, any day.

Can you escape FOMO?

The internet provides solutions but is also the cause of many of our concerns. You see someone’s picture-perfect life on social media and instantly think your life is not enough, even when you were grateful for your life just yesterday. The internet has made it very easy to get influenced. It is a double-edged sword: A source of distraction or meaningful information. The choice is yours.

Is a clear goal necessary?

People often think they need to have everything worked out before starting college. Honestly, not having a clear plan doesn’t mean you are failing. It just means you are still exploring.

Exploring is very important. You might find that the job you thought you wanted is nothing like what you thought it would be. This is something we know for sure. One of us started working in a job we thought we would enjoy but were wrong. The other is still in the middle of figuring out their next big plan for life. And none of us are sure that our plans will work out. Things can go wrong in life, and that is just life. Going off track, making mistakes, and not knowing what will happen are all normal parts of the process. Most people are just learning as they go. Do not let the pressure to ‘know everything’ stop you from trying new things. You can take your time, change your mind, and evolve your goals.

Embrace your journey!

Life is not a race, and there isn’t just one ‘right’ way to be successful. And it took us a long time to accept that. You are on the right track, and every event, good or bad, makes you the person you were meant to be.

So make mistakes and learn from these mistakes, party with your friends, travel if you have enough money, volunteer if you have time, and help others if you have the capacity. You will one day realise that every step you took, even the scary ones, helped you learn more about yourself. Keep going, keep looking around, learn new things, and keep growing. You can do this. This article is the result of countless conversations, reflections, and shared experiences between us. We poured our hearts into writing this piece, combining our perspectives to create something we hope resonates with you. We hope it provides comfort, insight, and inspiration as you navigate your journey. We would love to hear from you. Hopefully, this is just the beginning of many conversations.

Text by Padma Angmo and Tsering Gaphel

Photograph by Padma Angmo

Padma Angmo is an Assistant Copy Editor for a consulting firm and is based in Delhi. She completed her Bachelor of Art in English Literature from Lady Shri Ram College for Women, Delhi University.

Tsering Gaphel is pursuing his Masters of Technology from Indian Institute of Technology Delhi. He is also on the Board of Directors of Ladakh Science Foundation and Chair at Lamstan.